Sunday, September 27, 2009

Moon Beams on your Naked Booty

Church of the Blue Moon

Greetings and Blessings for All

Picture Welcome to The ancient Church of the Blue Moon! (founded 2009) May you not drop your last bran muffin in the camel's Pen. May they not name a new social disease for you and your pet cat and, finally, May your orthodontist not be cited for harboring beavers. On the affirmative side, may all your blind dates glow in the dark!

At the Church of the Blue Moon we maintain a positive attitude. We feel that "The carrot or the stick" is just a crummy offer from a sex offender. We don't like that! Our favorite thing is the blessing.... So, bless you, dirt ball (just kidding!) We also like good works like giving to the poor and not copping a "tude" "Can't we all just get along?" Well, of course we can.

If the church can help you along on your way then our mission will be fulfilled. Did Barbara Bush get all down and mopey when she visited West Texas and boll weevils ate her hair down to the roots? Hell no! she just prayed to her Satan and it all grew back (of course, again, the joke was on her.)

As founder of the Church, it is about time to let you know who I am. I'm the evil Rush Limbaugh (no I'm not) My name is Farrell Hamann so, when you're making out the check, please get it right. Bless you! I'm not the other Farrell Hamann. I never played college basketball and the other one probably never owned a Studebaker Silver Hawk. I was ordained years ago by the Universal Life Church, the one located in Modesto. They are nice down there and let you start up your very own church.

One thing, please no jihad against the Church of the Blue Moon. I'm on your side, really. PLUS, I have protection! I have been slapped by a Guru, if that's not a blessing, I don't know what is.... (it happened in Detroit, more later.) Some years ago there was a jihad against Barney. "I love you, you love me, we're as happy as can be", that Barney. Don't know if it is still in effect. Hard to hide if you're Barney the purple dinosaur.

Off on a tangent; I was gored by a bull in Mexico. That was no fun except the roar of the crowd when I grabbed it by the horns thinking I could flip it over and then run away. Yeah right!, that didn't happen. I must have been asking for it when the bull found me lurking like a flattened tick in a shallow doorway. The bull didn't laugh like a lunatic as did that Guru.

Why did I decide to become a man of the cloth, you ask? Why is easy, so I could Bless you, that's why. Bless you! WHEN I decided is a little more difficult to pin down. I think it was when I was up in Alaska, warming myself over some fresh bear droppings. It was nasty cold and the chill winds were blowing in through the holes in my pants. Life seemed dire and, in fact, it was. My matches were wet and I knew there was at least one bear I couldn't count on in the immediate future.

Ah, to survive, to survive, that was key! And then? Like magic, a hole opened up in the clouds and a thin ray of sunshine streamed down upon a chipmunk, who, laughing in chipmunk, alerted me to it's presence. Food and warmth, I thought, a double header. I made a grab for the little bugger but missed then claimed the sunshine as my own. Ha Ha, the blessings flowed that day, let me tell ya.

I have the most practice blessing my wife, I put my hand upon her head and say, bless you. That does the Job. I started blessing her in exchange for her promise to stop telling people that I lie in our bed staring up at the textured ceiling and seeing scary faces. That's not something I want her to be telling people, evil blackmailer!

Moving along..... How can you join the Church? Not a problem. Consider yourself joined and I'll email you all the things you'll have to do later. What other church hits you with all the big stuff right up front? Not many, I'm sure. That would kill the mood right then and there.

Check this out; since you'll be getting in at the beginning, there could be some cushy roles ahead, my dear Acolyte. We'll work out the rituals and titles later. For now, you can simple refer to me as: The Exulted One. To tell you the truth, as I always will, I've wanted to be a man of the cloth since I was tiny, So tiny that I had to wear a back brace to stay out of the fetal position.

Bless you Grasshopper (s)

Farrell Hamann (The Exulted One)

My youtube channel (7 videos) Huge art collection, studio tour. More..

Blog of The Exulted One

Huge waste of time!!! 

Longer version this story

My art images Flickr 

Darkness of the Abyss 

Email Farrell Hamann
Aku mungkin kelihatan seperti Zombie tapi saya kekasih

Farrell Hamann
     Bildender Künstler, Bildhauer, Schriftsteller, Comedy-Videos (YouTube) ich Schriftsteller Akte hatte mit der Tonight Show (circa Carson) und Kunstwerken im Weißen Haus Collection, dem Museum of Fine Arts, Boston, die Petaluma Museum hat Oprah Winfrey ein meiner Mosaik Eier. usw. "Unique Collection" des J. Paul Getty Museum. "Eine Welt der visuellen Edelsteine" Sacramento Bee (Encore) "amerikanische Version der Faberge-Eier" KCRA-TV, "Beautiful" Oprah Winfrey. Ich habe schon viele Male im Fernsehen erscheinen, und in den Printmedien. Mein YouTube-Kanal: farrellhamann auch auf Facebook. Kann siehe Bilder bei Flickr, Picasa, Twitpic, d'ART, Google, etc. Ich habe eine große Kunstsammlung. Arbeiten umfassen Schlösser, Türme, Mosaiken, Gemälden, Skulpturen und vieles mehr. Auch dies schriftlich Humor. High Score Klout

 For Professional, expert beauty tips and tutorials, please visit my daughter, Kate's, channel on youtube: IKHAMELEON  Makeup artistry, cosmetics, makeovers, supplies, and more.

Pour les professionnels, d'experts conseils de beauté et des tutoriels, s'il vous plaît visiter ma fille, Kate, le canal sur YouTube: Maquillage artistique IKHAMELEON, cosmétiques, du maquillage, de fournitures, et plus encore.

Untuk Profesional, tips kecantikan ahli dan tutorial, sila lawati puteriku, Kate, saluran di youtube: IKHAMELEON kesenian Makeup, kosmetik, makeover, persediaan, dan banyak lagi.



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لموظفي الفئة الفنية، نصائح الجمال الخبراء والدروس، يرجى زيارة ابنتي، كيت، قناة على يوتيوب : IKHAMELEON الفنيةماكياج، ومستحضرات التجميل، التجميل، والمستلزمات، وأكثر من ذلك .

Para profesionales, consejos de expertos de belleza y tutoriales, por favor, visitar a mi hija, Kate, canal en youtube: arte IKHAMELEON maquillaje, cosméticos, maquillaje, material, y mucho más.

IKHAMELEON श्रृंगार कलात्मकता, सौंदर्य प्रसाधन, makeovers, आपूर्ति, और अधिक: व्यावसायिक के लिए, विशेषज्ञ सुंदरता सुझावों और tutorials के, मेरी बेटी है, केट, यूट्यूब पर चैनल पर जाएँ.

IKHAMELEON 메이크업 예술성, 화장품, makeovers, 공급, 그리고 : 프로 전문 뷰티 자습서, 내 , 케이트, YouTube에 채널 방문하시기 바랍니다.

Für professionelle, kompetente Beauty-Tipps und Tutorials, besuchen Sie bitte meine Tochter, Kate, Kanal auf YouTube: IKHAMELEON Makeup Artistik, Kosmetik, Umarbeitungen, Zubehör und vieles mehr.

Professionale per consigli di bellezza di esperti e tutorial, si prega di visitare mia figlia, Kate, il canale su youtube: IKHAMELEON arte trucco, cosmetici, estetici, forniture e altro ancora.

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Đối với các chuyên nghiệp, chuyên gia về thủ thuật làm đẹp hướng dẫn, xin vui lòng truy cập vào con gái tôi, Kate, kênh trên youtube: IKHAMELEON nghệ thuật trang điểm, mỹ phẩm, Thay đổi vẻ ngoài, vật tư, và nhiều hơn nữa.

Pro profesionální, tipy odborníků krása a návody, navštivte mé dcery, Kate, kanál na YouTube: IKHAMELEON Makeup umění, kosmetika, Makeovers, zásoby, a další.